"all the other kids who i know on the mommy box are so nice and shiny and happy all the time. they get to play outside and nobody has rules not to laugh. there is no DADDY that ever hurts them and says they are bad when they are not. all of them smile too and all get to be in the sun too. it feels so good with the sun on your skin so warm. it's not fair. i wish i could have fun and look like them do too with all them perfect with arms and mommy's who are always kissing them and giving them food and hugs and candy. i can't even give anyone a hug you know that. you can't hug with your legs the same. i would hug sissy so tight right now and she'd love it. she just said i am right. she would love it. ... she also said it's not fair too. none of this is. except she said a bad word but i don't say them or i get a thrashing. no doing any nice things only bad ones and never fun stuff like the shiny kids and their faces happy. it makes me really sad watching the mommy box when i think stuff like that. ... sissy is right. this is a hell. and we are being punished for being bad before. but i cant remember being anyone else or being bad but sissy does and she said... oh, I'm not saying that. more bad words she shouldn't say."